Dodging Bullets

Peace and greetings, everyone. Much gratitude to all of you for supporting this blog, my company, keeping up with me, and just being genuine Souls. Man…. So much has happened since my last post. I'd hate for any of you to think that this was ALL just a limited time thing. It was like that with a few other projects of mine. But I really like doing this. And I like being able to let those who support me and my company know what's really going on with me. Not just about me, but about things I experience in my everyday life that connect to a bigger picture. I've mentioned that a few times before, I believe.

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What is it that I want to achieve? It's simple. Greatness. I want to be known for doing great things and I want to help those who've helped me. There aren't too many people like that, unfortunately. Though, I'm grateful for the experiences I've had and the people I've met. I'm grateful for every lesson I've learned, from every trial and obstacle. Every shot fired at me for being my true authentic Self. Evil will try and kill you if it can't bring you onto its side. It's tried many times but I stay in my own light, ignoring the beggars and naysayers. They're parasites. 

Another reason I've been so off from my posting schedule, is I've been conflicted with my emotions. I'm often wondering how exactly am I gonna move forward in my career from this point. Dainty hotel in bum-fuck Roxboro. Again, I'm grateful for where I am and the experiences I've had. Being alone in a 2-star hotel is a far cry from living with wicked people and having to walk on eggshells every single day. Plus, it’s given me more space for Self as I reflect on these chaotic tides crashing on my sunny beach…

…where could I have gone wrong?

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I got my new car now. So, that's good. Great, actually. I've been waiting so long to have a vehicle of my own. I mean, I had one a couple years ago but I had to sell it to my aunt for rent money. It ended up becoming a junker sitting in her yard but I'm thankful that I was able to help for the time being. I used to be the kind of kid who'd swear he'll never end up sleeping in a car. In defense of Little Me, I don't think ANY of us at the time could've ever predicted how well this economy would royally fuck us. 

It's not so much that people have no money. It's more so we just can't seem to hold onto it. Everything needs to be paid for in this Matrix. Every piss you take costs money. 

I’m always finding myself battling between craving what I believe to be one of my ultimate sources of joy and freedom, or letting it be and just going with the breeze. And I’ll tell you now, the latter is definitely the better option. It's just hard to maintain that head space when you’re dealing with so much at one time and nothing seems to work out or everything seems to fall apart just as it’s getting good. It’s tiring. But I keep pushing because at this point, I’ve put in too much work to give up. I can’t stop now. People around me stopped talking. Stopped caring. Stopped loving. Stopped listening.

So I stopped giving a fuck.

So, where do I go from here? My main mission right now is to just make this company everything that I want it to be. My plans for the future are expansive, but I’ll need help from the Universe this time around. Seriously. You can believe, disbelieve all you want, but I have experienced actual events in my life that I know where spiritually influenced. I’ve seen things. Heard things. I won't go too deep into it, but this is just where I’m at right now. Whenever I find myself in a stressful situation, it seems the only “answers” or help I can get from anyone is “just pray on it”....

Again, believe what you want. But for me, that’s some utter fucking bullshit. All power resides in us. In our souls and spirits. We have the power to create change the way we see fit. There is no power outside of us that has any control over what we do. As long as you believe that there is, you’ll always find yourself in a trapped position, unsure of what to do. I’m tired of being unsure. What I mean by that is, (because we don’t know the future, we can only predict) I’m at peace knowing that everything I’m working for will lead to big, grand things for me and my family and close ones. But I’m done wandering around aimlessly just going with the breeze. At least, to the extent where it’s damaging me.

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I’ve dodged a lot of bullets. I’m grateful for that. I haven’t felt so protected in many years. It’s a familiar feeling, and it feels good. It’s like getting hugs from your ancestors every now and then, just to remind you that it’s all going to be okay.